Category Archives: Hotel Takeovers

How to gracefully decline a swinger offer

(Cross-posted from – a great place to meet other lifestyle travelers on Couples Cruises. After honing your swinger elevator pitch and practicing accepting and declining swinger offers, book your cabin here to join us on Independence of the Seas November 15 – 22!)

So you and your partner have your elevator pitch worked out and you are ready to cruise for new friends on the high seas. Bon voyage!

Hold it, seamen, turn this boat around — we’re not ready! What do we do if we’re not interested in a couple who gives us their pitch?

Great question. Gold star. (Literally, a couple asked us this after reading our last blog entry. I mailed them a gold star.)

First of all, let me back up and say that not every elevator pitch needs to have an offer at the end. Feel free to use your elevator pitch to meet couples that you are not interested in playing with — just leave off the pitch at the end or modify it to fit the scenario.

And for god’s sake, check in with your partner explicitly before pitching new friends with a sexual offer. Guys, I’m talking to you! A quick wink and a smile between you and your lover can easily communicate it. It’s a non-verbal way to say to your partner:

“Check out those two.”

“Ooh, hot stuff.”

“Should we invite them to our naked party?”

“Yeah, definitely. Let’s go!”

(More on this secret lovers’ code in a forthcoming blog entry.)

We’ve always found everyone on a lifestyle cruise to be so friendly and we’d rather be friendly than cold back. Literally, it’s a sea of smiling faces at the pool by day and a mass of friendly bodies on the Promenade at night.

So how do you gracefully decline a swinger offer?

First, recognize that most humans sexually gravitate to other humans who are generally as attractive and in the same age range as they are. 10s talk to 10s, 5s talk to 5s, etc. It has something to do with biology, evolution, psychology, and other sciencey stuff.

Second, due to the first point there are fewer awkward conversations than you might expect. But it also highlights the great amount of courage exhibited when the couple equivalent of the nerd asks the couple equivalent of the prom queen “to dance.”

So Step 1:

–Acknowledge the offer gratefully. Take it in the spirit it was intended and show flattery.

“Oh, wow. Thank you so much for asking. We’re really honored to be invited to your g*ng b*ng!”

Kudos for courage! Huzzah for spunk! 3 cheers for cojones!

And Step 2:

–Decline as politely and clearly as possible. Use a believable reason and keep it simple; this is not a car sale negotiation. And smile.

Possible responses:

A: “However, as we said we’re not full swap –”

B: “Great, you can be the fluffers!”

A: “Well, we really need to spend some time together tonight. I owe her a *big* one.”

B: “Great, you can come to tomorrow night’s g*ng b*ng!”

A: “You know, we’re not really the g*ng b*ng type.”

B: “Great, why don’t the four of us go warm up in our room then!”

A: “Thanks, but we’re not interested.” (SMILE)

B: “Great, well have a good night.”

A: “You too. Enjoy the orgy!” (SMILE)

Clearly, it’s better to just skip to the “we’re not interested” part. No need to tell them that they are not in your age range, not attractive, or they otherwise don’t meet your standards. Who knows — you may still want to be friends. And trust us, interest level definitely changes over time based on personality and friendship. The couple you turned down on Day 1 may look mighty fine on Day 7, so don’t burn any boob bridges.

Or Step 3:

–Counter with something you are comfortable with. Maybe you like them, but it’s bad timing. Or your partner isn’t present and you’re not sure how he/she would respond. Whatever the reason, this leaves your options open for a counter offer.

Possible responses:

A: “You know a g*ng b*ng sounds great. Not sure what our plans are though. Let me check with Wetanika and get back to you. How can I find you later?”

B: “Here’s my card. Just ring our room if you’re interested.”

A: “You know, we were planning to spend the night alone. How about a *friendly* drink right now though?”

B: “Sure, that sounds great.”

A: “Funny you should ask, we’ve got a full dance card tonight. How about we meet you for lunch tomorrow by the pool?”

B: “Sure, we’ll see you then!”

Step 4

–Use humor to smooth it over, if necessary. This requires quick thinking, some Emotional Intelligence, and quite a bit of practice. We meet and greet hundreds of couples on a cruise in various settings and even with a theater background I flub this sometimes.

Possible closing zingers:

A: “Sorry, we have to volunteer at the soup kitchen tonight.”

A: “My doctor said no more g*ng b*ngs — they’re bad for my penis.”

A: “We’re actually celibate. We thought this was a SINGERS cruise!”

All of these should, of course, be coupled with an actual serious decline, either before or after. But it’s definitely true that a little sugar makes the rejection easier to…ahem…swallow.

So remember, if you want to gracefully reject an offer just remember this handy acronym: ADoCU. (Rhymes with Sudoku)

A – Acknowledge the offer.

D – Decline clearly.

o – or

C – Counter offer.

U – Use humor if you dare.

With these simple tips, you’ll be navigating the tricky waters of a lifestyle cruise with ease. Full steam ahead, captain!

COMING SOON: Using your secret lovers’ code


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What’s your swinger elevator pitch?

(Cross-posted from – a great place to meet other lifestyle travelers on Couples Cruises. After honing your swinger elevator pitch, book your cabin here to join us on Independence of the Seas November 15 – 22!)

Nine out of 10 lifestyle bloggers agree: if you want to make the most out of your lifestyle cruise vacation, you and your partner have to make an effort to meet new couples.

To all newbie couples, we shout, “Get thee to a meet and greet! Wake up early for naked speed dating! Come to the seminar on spanking/squirting/slow dancing!”

But, wait. There’s more to it than that. While one famous non-monagomist said that 80% of success is showing up, it’s the other 20% that gets you successfully over your new friends’ stateroom threshold.

The Swinger Elevator Pitch

At our Swinging for Newbies class, Lynn and I talk about the importance of your Couples Swinger Elevator Pitch, the 20 second introduction you say verbally to a new couple you are meeting for the first time (in the elevator, at a buffet line, on a barstool, in the sauna, at your dinner table, or in the foyer leading in to the playroom).

Having a well-honed swinger elevator pitch is the key to communicating the critical information about you and your partner to new friends. It’s the verbal version of the About You section on a dating website.

Here are the basic elements of a swinger elevator pitch:

–Your names

–Your condensed lifestyle profile: interests, goals, and *especially limits*

–Your offer

“Hi, we are Kevin and Wetanika. She loves bi-friendly ladies (as do I), and we’re a soft swap couple with a kinky side. We say that we’re ‘swinky!’ We’re looking for new friends to join us for dinner. Do you have plans tonight?”

Elevator starts to close.

“Here’s our card if you’d like to join us outside the Windjammer at 7!”

Why is a swinger elevator pitch important?

We hear from people all the time who were upset to learn after a long night of flirting that their new friends aren’t even swingers/full-swap/bisexual/into x, y, or z and we just scratch our heads wondering how they skipped the swinger elevator pitch step. For us, attraction gets you noticed, personality gets you in the door, and matched-up interests gets you in our bed. And we want to know ASAP if it has the potential to go-go-go all the way!

People want to know what to expect. They want to know as soon as possible if there is compatibility on the big things. No one likes wasting time, especially on a cruise or vacation. An honest, authentic swinger elevator pitch saves you these worries and it makes connecting so much easier.

Any couple who doesn’t have a swinger elevator pitch is missing out on a critical tool for achieving sexy success!

The act of crafting your swinger elevator pitch guarantees that both partners are in agreement about who they are as a couple (interests and limits) and what they are looking for (goals). We try to avoid those couples who avoid these hard conversations with each other.

And let me stress again the importance of authenticity. Misrepresentation is a loser in the long term and probably the short term. Trust me, it’s okay to admit that crazy fantasy to strangers — no one will judge you on a lifestyle trip and you’ll never find it if you don’t ask!

Practice your pitch

Once you have discussed all your interests, goals, and limits with your partner and you have your elevator speech written out, practice saying it to each other and see if it “feels” right. You’ll know it when you’ve got it.

And then practice it on a few strangers before the cruise. The more you practice, the easier it gets. The best pitches are concise, clear, memorable (often with humor or a visual cue), and accurate. Lynn suggests ending your pitch with a proposal that is easy on the recipient:

“Hi, I’m Lynn…lifestyle travel agent… And if you asked me to join you in the hot tub later, I would definitely say yes!”

This quickly takes it to a no pressure, clear expectations zone. And I can think of a number of responses that allow you to gracefully decline the reverse offer.

Pay attention to others’ pitches

The other best general tip we can give you is to PAY ATTENTION to somebody else’s swinger elevator pitch. You don’t want to confuse Double-Team Debbie with Nudist Nancy later at the disco. Repeat their names back to them at least twice (and then write their names down on your hand after the elevator closes).

Remembering someone’s name is a Top 5 Turn-on.

Our final advice for closing the deal:

1. If your swinger elevator pitch quickly leads to some action, punch your ticket and go!

2. If you agree to do a thing at a specific time/place, follow through.

3. Can’t make it? Leave a note. Can’t remember their room? Keep your eyes open for them and have a counter-offer for them right away: “Hey, we’re so sorry we missed you for dinner last night. We had one too many mojitos at the pool and lost track of everything. Can we make it up for you with drinks tonight at 10 pm at the pub?” You may get a second chance to prove that you’re not flakes. But, then again, it’s a big ship, and there’s plenty of horny fish elsewhere, so you may not.

With a proper swinger elevator pitch, good listening skills, and attentive follow-through you will make more and better friends in your lifestyle travels.

Seek and ye shall find. Ask and ye shall receive. Be a wallflower and ye shall miss out.

For more lifestyle travel advice, call Kevin at 603-384-3297 or email Stay tuned for more tips on making the most of your vacation!


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ABC’s Nightline at Naughty in N’awlins convention

The secret’s out about the Naughty in N’awlins swinger convention after an ABC News Nightline report aired recently.

Watch the clip, meet the three couples interviewed (including Holli and Michael from Playboy Radio and TV), and decide for yourself if a lifestyle vacation is right for you!

(Hint: we certainly think so!!!)
Naughty in N'awlins 2013

If you were at N’awlins this year with us, What did you think?

If you haven’t gone, sign up now for Naughty in N’awlins 2015 today!

And if you’re ready for the big leagues, join us on the Independence cruise for 7 nights and 3600 people — it doesn’t get any better than this!

Still have questions – call Kevin at 603-384-3297 or email There are lifestyle vacations for couples of all types — let us help you find the right one!


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Are you booked for Independence?

Sexy Desire swinger pic

In 65 days, the Independence of the Seas lifestyle takeover cruise will set sail.

What are you waiting for???

Prices went up for certain cabin categories on September 1 and it is possible they will go up again.

The only way to join us is to get your cabin today or win a cabin.

Wait, what???!!! I can win a cabin?!

Yeah, baby, you can win a cabin!

Just join TheSwingerCruise blog’s Kevin and Wetanika at the upcoming Friction Devil’s Desire party in Connecticut on October 4 and enter to win a free Interior cabin on the Independence of the Seas!

theswingercruise Maho Beach St. Maarten

Can’t join us on October 4 for this devilish and dirty good time with the sexy people of Friction Parties? Check out the selection of ocean view cabins on Deck 2 and Deck 3 and mid-ship balcony cabins on Deck 7 and Deck 6.

If you would like specific cabin recommendations, email

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Posted by on September 11, 2014 in Cruises, General Advice, Hotel Takeovers


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Meet the Wallbangers and join them at Hedo II in April 2015

Hedonism Hedo 2

Thinking of trying Hedonism II in 2015? Why not join the Wallbangers group (hosted by Shane and Tammy) for their April 2015 Hedo blowout?!

Get to know your Wallbangers hosts, Tammy and Shane:

Shane and Tammy Wallbangers Hedo 2015

We live in Atlanta, Georgia and have been married 13 years. With no kids, we love to travel and have been to various resorts, cruises, and conventions.

When was your first trip to Hedo and what was it like? Our first trip to Hedo was in 2004. At the time we had never been anywhere like that before and were terrified and excited all at the same time. However, once we arrived we met the nicest people and immediately felt comfortable. We had a blast and have rarely taken a “vanilla” vacation since then.

What excites you most about the Wallbangers 2015 trip? Over the last 10 years, we have met many great people who have become our friends. For us, it has been all about the people and not about the places we have visited. On this trip we look forward to seeing many of the friends we have met over the years as well as making new ones.

If people are considering a lifestyle trip next year, why should they choose to join you and the Wallbangers?
TSC has negotiated some great rates for our trip as low as $158 per person per night. Additionally, we plan to organize some fun events and provide some free gifts for members of our group. We have a great mix of people going, and welcome others to join our group who want to laugh and enjoy life!

Wallbangers @ Hedo
April 18-25, 2015

For this group we have an awesome block of Classic Rooms:
Gardenview: $158 per person/per night
Gardenview Nude: $194 pp/pn
Oceanview Nude: $204 pp/pn

Minimum stay of 5 nights required.

Additional Cost:
Airport – Resort Round Trip Transfers are $50 per person
Airfare from your city to MBJ

To book your stay at Hedonism II, call Kevin at 603-384-3297 or email!

What’s included at Hedonism II?

At Hedonism Resorts virtually everything you can eat, drink & do is included in one simple, upfront price with not tipping allowed. So, leave your wallet behind (you may not have a pocket to carry it in) but bring a healthy appetite for great food and uninhibited fun at two of the most infamous party resorts ever created!

All our our guests will receive fun logo wear from our ‘Best Fucking Vacation’ Collection

In addition to:

Sumptuous Cuisines in a variety of dining options
Deluxe Accommodations
Unlimited Drinks including top shelf brands
Land & Water Sports
Daily Activities
Nightly Entertainment
Round-trip Airport/Hotel Transfers
NO Tipping allowed
Cascading plunge pools
Refurbished main pool and Jacuzzi
New beachfront pool with pool table in the pool and swim-up bar
Jungle bridge connecting the main pool to the beachWallbangers April 2015
Glass bottom Jacuzzi on the roof of the disco
Gaming lounge
Rock climbing wall
Enclosed air-conditioned fitness center
Sauna and Steam room

To book your stay at Hedonism II, call Kevin at 603-384-3297 or email!

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Posted by on August 27, 2014 in General Advice, Hotel Takeovers, Resorts


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Sexy under the Tuscan Sun

Shoes Only Travel Tuscan swinger lifestyle vacation 2015

Shoes Only Travel has just announced its latest offering for 2015: Sexy under the Tuscan Sun.

This will be a luxurious and exclusive retreat next October 11 – 17 on a magnificent 600-acre wine and olive oil producing estate built for the Machiavelli family in the 15th century. 34 extremely lucky couples will get to explore the Tuscan region of Italy by day from this perfect Florentine location; more importantly, they will get to share their erotic nights together in this Renaissance-era masterpiece!

For more information, click here or call Kevin at 603-384-3297 or email

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Posted by on August 25, 2014 in General Advice, Hotel Takeovers


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Naughty in N’awlins 2014 — Naughtiest Ever?! (With Pics!)

It is always so hard to sum up a 5 day party like Naughty in N’awlins, so I figured the best way to do it is with a series of pictures. (I mean, that’s what all you dirty-minded people came to see, right?)

I will say, though, that Naughty in N’awlins was perhaps the naughtiest event that Bob and Tess and French Connection Events have ever put on. The following pictures are really just the ones that I could share!

Oh, what a big schedule you have!
sexy swinger Naughty in N'awlins pic schedule

Den Temin, world-famous sexologist, offered small group classes and private seminars.
Sexplore with Den Temin Naughty in N'awlins sexy swinger pic

Holli and Michael, world-famous Playboy Radio and TV stars, showing their swinger pride in the Wednesday night parade.
Holli and Michael Playboy Naughty in N'awlins sexy swinger pic

The sexy, gender-bending performance at Lucky Pierre’s following the parade.
Lucky Pierre's Naughty in N'awlins sexy swinger pic

Just one example of the week’s body art – at the Bourbon Cowboy private party on Thursday afternoon.
Bourbon Cowboy body art Naughty in N'awlins sexy swinger pic

“Show us your booth!” In the main hall by the ballroom.
Swinger cruise booth Naughty in N'awlins sexy swinger pic

But we’d rather see your boobs. Especially in the new TSC t-shirts!
Swinger cruise boobs sexy swinger Naughty in N'awlins pic

One naughty kitty at the Circus-themed ballroom party on Thursday night.
sexy swinger Naughty in N'awlins party pic

The Swinger Cruise crew in action at Friday’s party at The Swamp. Ladies: show your boobs, get a free shirt!
sexy swinger Naughty in N'awlins pic Swinger Cruise staff

See, it worked!
sexy swinger Naughty in N'awlins pic boobs

The wildest Bourbon St. party of them all – Razoo’s!
sexy swinger Naughty in N'awlins pic Razoo's

Friday night’s red dress party (for both guys and ladies). Red dress not required. 😉
sexy swinger Naughty in N'awlins pic red dress

Announcing the newest (and soon to be best) lifestyle website: Crown Avenue. Find their Mobile Studio at a party near you!
Naughty in N'awlins sexy swinger pic Crown Avenue trailer

The beautiful and colorful dancers of the Saturday night Mardi Gras Masquerade Ball.
Naughty in N'awlins sexy swinger pic Masquerade ball dancer

The bead toss at the Mardi Gras Masquerade Ball.
Naughty in N'awlins sexy swinger pic bead toss

The amazing aerial dancers at the Mardi Gras Masquerade Ball. Am I tipsy with the camera? You betcha!
Naughty in N'awlins sexy swinger pic dancers

Well, friends, that’s all the sexy I can handle right now.

You can whet your appetite for next year by reviewing the Naughty in N’awlins 2014 schedule here.

If you want to join all your TSC friends on the biggest Bob and Tess adventure of the year, the Independence of the Seas cruise, book your cabin online here today.

As I always tell people, Naughty in N’awlins is the best party on land and the November cruise is the best party at sea.

For all other lifestyle travel needs, just call Kevin at 603-384-3297 or email Even when we’re getting naughty we can take your call!


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